The biggest question most people are trying to answer about Anthony Weiner’s run at mayor of New York is whether he’s trying to grab the brass ring to further his career, get his wife off his back or because he thinks it’ll make it easier to get cybersex. On the other hand, maybe the answer is “all three.” After all, it worked for Bill Clinton, although he was at least functional enough to bang the chicks he was cheating with on his wife.
So, will Anthony Weiner provide comedians doing shows in New York with material for years to come by winning the race for mayor? He could — and perhaps this isn’t the way everyone looks at it, but after the liberals in New York voted compassion fascist Mike Bloomberg into office three times, they deserve a joke like Weiner as mayor. New Yorkers love to say their city is like no other on earth and having Anthony Weiner as mayor would help prove it.
1) May 27, 2011: Weiner was 46 years old, married and apparently carrying on multiple cyber affairs via Twitter, which puts him somewhere between Jesse Jackson, Jr. off his meds and Ted Kennedy swimming out of a tidal pool on the bad judgment scale. Predictably, he eventually screwed up a private direct message and accidentally tweeted a picture of his schlong bulging through his underwear to a 21-year-old college student. The picture was “screenshotted” before Weiner could delete it and was sent to Andrew Breitbart.
2) May 31, 2011: Despite the fact that Weiner claimed his account had been “hacked,” nobody was buying it; so he had to hold a news conference about his penis picture (Incidentally, if a politician even needs to have a “news conference about his penis picture,” it’s a REALLY BAD SIGN). Unfortunately, instead of putting the incident in Weiner’s rear view mirror, it made things worse when he very strangely declined to have law enforcement investigate the matter.
3) June 1, 2011: When Luke Russert asked Weiner if the picture was his, he said, “You know, I can’t say with certitude. My system was hacked, pictures can be manipulated, pictures can be dropped in and inserted.” Apparently, Anthony Weiner grew up in some strange alternate world where the average man has large numbers of penis pics just sitting around and thus, he obviously wouldn’t know if that was his penis pic or not.
4) June 6, 2011:Andrew Breitbart showed up at Anthony Weiner’s press conference and took the stage before Weiner spoke to note that he broke the story and that he had been proven right despite liberal claims that he faked the picture and/or hacked Weiner’s account. It was one of the highlights of Breitbart’s all too short life and the equivalent of running over Weiner with a truck, getting out, kicking him in the ribs, flipping him off and then driving off to an all-night party. Five days later, Weiner resigned.
5) July 18, 2012: Weiner and his wife Huma do an image rehabilitation interview with People magazine. During the interview, Huma said, “Anthony has spent every day since (the scandal) trying to be the best dad and husband he can be. ….I’m proud to be married to him.” Anthony Weiner added, “I really do feel like a very, very different person.” Just six days before that interview, Weiner, who was using the hilarious nom de plume “Carlos Danger” had begun talking to 23 year old Sydney Leathers. By August, they were regularly having phone sex, cybersex and were discussing his moving her into a sex condo for convenient trysts. On the downside, Weiner may have been a little hypocritical in that People interview, but on the other hand, if his preview pictures weren’t quite enough for you, the new ones that have come out since mean that Anthony Weiner may be the first mayor of an American city to have pics of his junk swinging in the breeze online.
6) July 23, 2013: Weiner did a press conference about the Sydney Leathers story and the pictures she provided and, helped to damage his wife’s reputation in the process. Weiner’s wife Huma, who was a sympathetic figure the first time around, did the Hillary Clinton “Stand by Your Man” thing at the press conference which made her look completely Machiavellian when Weiner admitted that, “She knew all along…I told her everything.” So, Huma knew her husband was cheating on her, even when they were lying to America and pretending this was all behind them? When you lie to the public in order to enable your husband’s affairs and gain prestige for yourself, you start to edge over the line from victim to co-conspirator.
7) July 25, 2013: After admitting to cheating on Huma with Sydney, Weiner is now admitting to cheating on both of them with two other women — which probably means there are a dozen that Weiner still thinks can’t be traced back to him. Who could have ever guessed when Bill Clinton officiated at the wedding between Weiner and Huma (Yes, he really did) that it would end in non-stop infidelity being enabled by a power- hungry wife….wait, maybe that’s not as crazy as it seems on second thought.